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Why do some kids improve rapidly while others stall for years?
In this video, I break down 5 critical lessons in youth soccer development that most parents overlook — and why these mistakes quietly slow progress over time.
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One of the better videos from a youth coach.
In a nutshell, kids need to love the game enough to watch it and go out and play it on their own. In USA however, that's impossible as there is no soccer culture here and will never be. Soccer is in 4th or 5th place regarding sports in this country. It's number 1 in every other country in the world. There's no way to compete with that.
Technical development goes a long way. It is one the biggest tools to bolster longevity in a young person’s game passion. For years, my child was in a program that drilled tactics and physicality— to the detriment of technique. The result was promising players (and entire teams) drifting away from the sport because of getting outdribbled and overall outplayed. Don’t get me wrong, the coaches and program heads were well intentioned, but obviously if only semi-consciously started to concentrate too much on the win. Anyway, my child started to lose confidence and even a basic sense of how to approach the game. Fastforward and based on some good friends’ recommendation, we switched to a club where at least 1/3 of each practice is focused on ballwork— night and day. The passion, skill level, camaraderie even— all significantly increased.
Great tips!
One interesting side note, even if someone hasn’t burned out from training soccer their whole life – once you volunteer as a coach and then have to deal with toxic PARENTS interfering with your coaching, you can finally burn out.
Love this brother.
what did you do in those training sessions as a kid to be putting in 25 hours a week? and thanks
Intrinsic motivation. That is where it all starts, and where it – sadly – often ends.
Great video! I agree and it s tricky because most kids dont love or like anything until they see success and are good. You haveto sometimes push them through the failure and wanting to quite cuz most everyone is not great or good from the start. But yes if you pushthewrong way theywill quite and hate it.
Frank. This is distilled experience. I live in a small community that "lives football". We have made and still makes a lot of high quality players – some even at european top level. As a coach you will probably never see an unicorn, they might be out there and you will surely hear about them (Lamine Yamal being one?), you could be lucky to see a zebra but generally you should expect to see a lot of horses – and horses can be trained. Your no. 1 is so true and the easiest way to "burnout", not just in football but in general. The "living through your child" and I say that with empathy. We can all go there. I heard a doctor say that in order to protect himself from burnout and use his ressources to the greater good he could, but would not be more concerned about the general health of his patients than they were them selves – in areas with a lot of self work like mental or physixal rehabilitation. You can force the horse to the river but you cannot force it to drink.
It's a long haul. If the motivation isn't intrinsic it won't last. Different kids are also motivated by different things. Ours loves a challenge and the puzzle of the game. We go light on drills, heavy on scrimmages, and never force her to do anything. The aim isn't to make her great at 11, the aim is to keep her good enough while not killing her love of the game.
discipline over motivation. This is something very few understand.
This guy is effing good….no joke. His points are dead on.
I used to play soccer, but then I learned football and instantly became better.
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What playlist were you talking about in the end?
Great work!! Thank you
Thank you Coach!!
Mental part of competitive sport is way more important than natural talent. Best thing to do is surround ur kid with like minded children theyl feed off each other.
fact is that kids are in so controlled conditions on trainings, sticks, polygons, repetition … the fact why countries like Croatia in first place are making results and have talents as kids are still playing in streets and on playgrounds. Controlled trenings and coaches who try to make philosophy of great game for kinds under 14 and lower are killing these talents. Football must be played on playgrounds so kinds can be creative as if not you get these generic trainings, players and no results or even kinds give up . Less talk, let kids be kinds and then latter they will focus. Coaches putting themselves in front are killing their motivation, creativity and locking down talent
Thank you.
I like your comments about the ball being the opponent. Sometimes I think a lot of clubs ingrain one to two touch passing so much the child looses sight of the game itself because they're so focused on how quickly they can get rid of the ball.
0:30 More private sessions do not mean improving faster
2:01 Watching the game is just as important as training
4:07 You can't rush development
6:03 Confidence is domain specific
Great video, Coach! ❤
How does one teach discipline?
do you offer private coaching lessons online ?
Kids stop progressing because they hit their ceilings.
We’ve got to stop pretending that every kid can train and develop into a top player. That’s what coaches all say in public but they don’t believe that in private. Obviously for those making a living off of training and coaching kids will say that’s what separate top kids from average.
The reality is athletic ability is largely nature. And I include mental ability too. Some kids simply have it. The caveat is you have to train to figure out if you have it in you.
Regarding burnout, it absolutely happens in video games in a competitive setting. Of course there is no burn out if you’re using it as an entertainment and leisure activity. But if you’re in a competitive environment and you push and you aren’t making progress vs the peers then yea you feel burnout.
Really agree with your points here.
Especially watching soccer. I’m surprised to hear from my son that a lot of his teammates barely watch soccer (he’s at pro team youth academy) – I feel it really shows on the field for some of them. One issue is that kids are training so much they barely have time to watch full matches.
On burnout – agree again. I quit a sport (not soccer) in my late teens, even though I had dreamt of reaching the top and had been training since I was a little kid. Basically because, though my chances of making it weren’t zero, I made the calculation that the work and sacrifice required, the enjoyment I got from it, combined with the probability of making it not being high enough, didn’t make it worthwhile to continue. I don’t consider it burnout. I just didn’t love it enough if the reward wasn’t to be a pro athlete.
As a coach, I 💯 agree with you. It must first come from intrinsic motivation.
Great video. Two followup questions based on your experience with kids:
1. Can you as a parent help the child to manufacture motivation or is that entirely up to a kid?
2. You mentioned that the key to avoid burnout is to help the child see the long term reward – but how do you actually do that if most kids these days focus on short and super short term? Isn't the discipline essentially a process imposed by somebody (likely a parent) that doesn't have immediate reward. Why would child continue in this setup? (seem like a bit of chicken and egg)
3. What's the link to your book(s)?
Man I agree with this 100 percent
I’ve learned so much in this video, not only as a parent / coach but also for my own personal development!
I appreciate you pulling from your own personal experience, it adds legitimacy to the points you make.
Unironically I am reading “why we do what we do” on my flight home right now.
I look forward to watching more content you make on the mental part.
Thank you so much for putting this out into the world!
I just switched my son to a different team because the team he was on would add guest players who got all the playing time
I agree on all 5 points. After 1 hours training with my 12-years-old son, I find your video, so I asked my watch it together. Hope through your channel my son can build up his intrinsic motivation and become more confident in game.⚽
One thing that happens in the USA. People think you can develop and train someone to become a world class talent. But in reality, world class talent is born. This is known very well in South America. You just need be discover and nurture the talent. So pressuring a child to become a world class talent is a big no.
Lesson one is Key. US sports are filled with kids whose parents drive the development more than the kid. It’s sad.
Great points. Thanks alot 🎉
.. shitty sports parents… go surfing 😂
Great topic and great advice. Where can I find the playlist you mention at end of the video?
Great points! As a professional educator (and former rec coach), I totally agree. I really appreciate what you said in #4 about skill leading to confidence. I see a lot of coaches at lower levels who try to coach tactics and teams but never get down to coaching technique. Players can cycle through seasons and programs and coaches and somehow never learn how to strike the ball, how to dribble, how to defend. Eventually those players quit playing because, well, they literally can't play the game anymore. They get out on the field and get dribbled around and scored on over and over until they are totally discouraged and decide to quit. When you have no skill, it's no fun to play against people who have even a little bit of skill. It's really sad to watch so many of these kids drift away from a game they once enjoyed.
Such a good video, and I agree with all 5 points. You nailed it!!! Thank you!!
*** Thanks Frank, You're Spot on. Your advise to us parents really comes across as genuine and sincere. *** I was pushing my 11-yo daughter to practice with me and her older brother. Let's just say she wasn't eager to join us. Recently, on a very competitive game she didn't get much playing time and she was crossed, to the point of tears. I explained to her that she needs to train consistently on her own, and focus on the long term improvements that she would make, in addition I said. You need to focus on studying the game, by watching game/or highlights and see how the pros do it, specially the mistakes they make. (Well, something clicked) Last week I caught her watching PL game highlights. I don't have to goad her anymore into coming along with her brother and I, for a "kicking the ball-around session" __Thanks mate!
I started playing at soccer at 16 and I played with a lot of Chicago Fire club and academy players. In my opinion, development stalls from burnout. Players stop watching games less and creativity dies as a result imo. Due to this, I caught up to their level pretty quickly. The issue of motivation was very prevalent when I helped coached the girl's team.
Have your kid play futsal in South America.
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I agree with a lot of what you say, motivation is key; parents should only support, not push, this is fundamental. That said, until the age of 12, kids should be free to experiment and make mistakes, and in Italy things do not really work that way anymore. Focusing on the technical aspect is the priority, ball control in every situation is the key to playing football, the rest comes with time. Learn to juggle while moving and with high juggles, learn to juggle with a wall with high and low passeges, these two things already cover 50% of the work on the pitch. Last thing, please call it football and not soccer!
The number one word that sticks with me is “Intentionality”. Going through the motions, even doing it all day ever day, won’t net the same results as intentional effort for a brief period of time.
Absolutely spot on mate! I truly believe the trainers who have passion, integrity, faith, and truly invest into developing the players who entrust in their work,go so much further in a more influential way. I run a football ministry here in Australia where I incorporate the gospel into me training. But essentially these 5 reasons ,I along with other trainers I’ve talked to express the exact same sentiments. When you pour into the youth,teen, or young adults who seek your unique gifts and talents as a trainer you want the abso best for them! That takes them also showcasing the desire and drive to want the best for themselves first. So many times parents have tried to overpay me or push their kids in a counterproductive way where it hurts the process. Being able to fail, making mistakes, being uncomfortable warrants growth! You can’t progress without it. Mate may GOD continue to bless your endeavors, I’d defo would love to connect with you if you’re ever down under forsure, or when I travel to states to do trainings. I also noticed you train at toca sometimes, I use to be an assistant director for the Seattle Washington location so I’ appreciate that technology to help train as well but nothing beats a real coach.
1. video games
2. video games
3. video games
For #3, not only do the bigger formats starve players of touches, they are actually a less sophisticated version of the game if players are not ready. Meaning, if players can’t negotiate a huge 11 v 11 field, they just end up with a lot of aimless kicking, or standing and waiting. A 7 v 7 format would be much more likely to produce passing combinations, switching fields, modifying tempo, third man running…all of the things we associate with good football.
American parents in particular do not understand this point…because they also don’t watch the game enough to understand what good tactics look like.
Footbal not soccer
Bro loves referencing Hormozi lol